You are here: Home / Archives for self esteem

What is a Sensual Lifestyle Like?

February 26, 2012 By Leave a Comment

A sensual lifestyle is one where you experience some joy every single day, no matter what, and that joy is not based on what you have, what you do, or who you know.   It comes from entirely within.  A sensual lifestyle is based on the philosophy and world view of tantra. The characteristics of a sensual lifestyle may differ slightly from person to person, but there are some commonly shared aspects. It is authentic, it’s super-juicy, joyful, and attracts more joy.   It’s primary and immediate — right here and right now.  This concept is very abstract and esoteric, so bear with me while I try to explain what it looks, feels, sounds, tastes, and smells like.

It’s how you feel when you’ve found the style that is so you, so REALLY you that you are like a gorgeous Goddess just the way you are right now, completely unlike the incomplete feeling you get when you get to a certain coveted size or weight.   It’s the freedom and  confidence of inner beauty that allows the natural outer beauty show through, it’s like that Ugly Betty carefree beauty.  It’s the kind of beauty that you don’t need to fiddle with or worry about. This beauty makes you attractive to potential partners who really want you for who you are, not a set of statistics or facade.  You find out that OMG! you’re sexy!  Not necessarily the corporate media’s representation of sexy.  I’m talking about the REAL grown-up irresistibly juicy sexy that can make a grown man cry.  You can throw something together at the last minute and feel like a million bucks (and not think about how you look, instead focusing on having some fun).

You can really taste. Not just sugar and salt, suddenly you’ll notice a huge array of subtle different flavors that previously [Read more...]

My New Year’s Quiet Revolution

December 25, 2011 By Leave a Comment

It’s the end of the year.  I love that the new year is the most defined abrupt change of the year.  You see, spring comes gradually.  But after the dark and noisy December holidays come a brighter, quieter, more peaceful January.  It’s natural to want to use this time to make a big dramatic change in our lives.

You already know I don’t do new year’s resolutions and I don’t do diets.  You’ve heard me say it before, we trade in the darned noisy toy and jewelry advertisements all in our faces just for them to be traded out for ridiculous diet plan and exercise gadget commercials.  But by spring how many people are actually more fit than they were on January 2?  I don’t have hard statistics but you and I both know the number is probably less than 20.  20 people in America.

So!  I’m saving you from my whole bah humbug new year’s resolutions are so stupid presentation.

And I’m not preparing any rah!-rah! come on everybody and do this thing with me project.  Been there, failed terribly.

This revolution is about body image.  It’s quiet because it’s intimate, personal, not done in a class, and introspective in nature.  Why share it with you?  Because perhaps you’ll find it useful in your own journey. If not, that’s fine too. [Read more...]

Wanted: Apple Shaped Figure Fashion Tips, not an Emotional Beatdown!

October 26, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Last week was the first week of chilly weather of the season.  I was getting ready for work when I realized “I DON’T HAVE A THING TO WEAR!”  From time to time I go crazy and throw away or donate everything, and that must have happened sometime between spring and now.  Lucky for me, I know a professional stylist, Candace, and sent her a message. I’ve worked with her before and she is fantastic so I’ll be working with her again.  Now, it’s helpful to give a stylist all of the pertinent info about what help is needed so as preparation for our meeting I decided to look up fashion advice online regarding how to dress an apple shaped body.  Lawdamercy, I had no idea what I was in for! [Read more...]

Women, Beauty, and Competition

November 24, 2008 By Leave a Comment

Guess what, Goddesses! There’s plenty of pretty to go around. I was honored this weekend and in the past few weeks of being in contact with some of my closest women friends. They are all beautiful. The other day I began to wonder why it is that so many other women are not so lucky to have many true female friends. Why is there some kind of jealousy and competition  among Goddesses? Why are some women so intimidated by other women who are gorgeous and so engage in silly catty behavior towards one another? I don’t really know, so you’ll have to go ask Dr. Phil or somebody.

What I do know is that when I am going to meet some of my women friends I take extra steps to look nice. I make sure I have on a nice outfit and throw on a little makeup. I make sure my lips are shiny and my lashes are long and luscious. But my intention is not to upstage my friends. My purpose is to be pretty for them to look at. Let’s just face it. I am straight. I love men. But women are prettier. We have more variety to our looks. You don’t have to be a lesbian to appreciate a stunning face and a fabulous outfit. How do I know this?

Well, a few years ago I met this woman on a listserv. We are both mothers and had a lot in common. yoga-flower At the time a lot of my women friends had gone away or taken on other interests. Being a mom can sometimes be lonely so I reached out to connect with someone who likes to have fun, with a little sidekick in tow.

When it was finally arranged for us to meet face to face, I got all pretty and went to meet her for coffee. When I got there I was disappointed. She had not made any effort to look cute for me. She had on stained sloppy clothes and carried a raggedy-ass bag and her face could certainly use a little paint. But I didn’t judge her. We had a nice conversation that afternoon.

The next time I met her I secretly hoped she probably didn’t know what to expect the first time we met but this time she would have herself together. She did not. I couldn’t help but to feel a little slighted, as though I wasn’t important enough for her to try to look her best. Or at least presentable. I wanted to see her beauty. Yes, she had her natural beauty and while I really didn’t expect her to present like a supermodel, because I certainly never do, I felt uncomfortable and taken for granted, kind of like the husband of 5 years whose wifey consistently looks a hot mess when he comes home from work in the afternoon.

I am still friends with the woman but we have gone in different directions for reasons unrelated to appearance.  Whenever I see or talk to her I try to encourage her and let her know that she is beautiful and that she should not be ashamed to coax it out into the open.  Nevertheless, I suppose she has her reasons for being the way she is and I accept that.

When I meet up with my friends who take steps to look pretty I feel pretty. Beauty is not a scarce resource to be coveted and fought for, it is abundant and unlimited.  Some of my friends are far more beautiful than I am. So what? I don’t wish they were ugly so I could look better. I want to admire them while I sip my tea and giggle about life.

I’m on a mission to change the world for the better, one lifestyle at a time. If you’ve enjoyed this post, please spread the love by sharing on Facebook or Twitter (click an icon below) or emailing it to a friend.  Quick, do it now!  Thanks lovely.

Sharing Buttons by Linksku