This is not another rah-rah fat acceptance article to convince the morbidly obese, sedentary, extreme eaters that they are somehow sexy, healthy, and fabulous. At the beach this week I noticed I have put on a few pounds since last year. My tummy protrudes disproportionately (and always has) from the rest of my body.

Juicy Photo by Charisse Williams

It gets much worse when I gain a little extra fat. Genetics plays a role in the shape of my body, but is not the whole story.

A person’s size and shape is a result of a very complex formula that includes genetics, activity level, types and variety of activities done, quantity of food, quality of food, proportional balance of daily protein/carbohydrate/fat intake, hormones, age, gender, and overall health, to name a few factors. This is why the one size fits all weight plans don’t fit most, and why the range of ideal body shapes and sizes is actually very broad. We in the West are under the false belief that if we eat right and exercise that we would all be size 2, when in reality people who eat right and exercise can be a size 2 or size 20 and everywhere in between. The actual numbers her are based on my own unscientific assumption, only to be used as an example, not to be taken as a literal fact, but I’m sure you get the idea.

I am a professional dancer who performs once and teaches twice a week. I work out at the gym 4-5 times per week. I walk or ride my bike to the store often and my friends consider me a high energy person. I live in a 3-story house and run up and down the stairs many times a day. I know others with similar activity levels to mine who are skinny as a rail, which, btw, I honestly prefer not to be.

I am not an emotional eater, who dashes a candy bar in times of daily stress, nor am I a high-fat processed food junkie who eats from a fast food restaurant at least once a week. I love whole, unprocessed foods like fresh fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. I am no vegan or vegetarian and although I care about what I put into my body, I have no food restrictions. Although I don’t always eat in moderation, I never binge. I love food. I eat.

I am plump and juicy like a ripe grape in the summertime and not a miserable emaciated stick figure with sunken cheeks because I am a happy person who has fun. I am probably a little fatter than my ideal because I veered off my normal habits a bit recently. But there is no need for me to fret about it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, but just to get back on track and everything will fall into place. Thank goodness I am not paid as a supermodel or a famous actress to perpetuate women’s self loathing and to maintain standardized image that some woman spend their lives trying to imitate, because I would be under constant stress of being fired! I am paid to help people bring joy and happiness into their lives so I just look the way I happen to look by taking care of my health and enjoying life. Looking good is important to me, but equally so is feeling good and living well.

What is your ideal weight, size, shape, look? Here is the formula:

• Have some fun every day

• Don’t eat anything you don’t like

• Eat the rainbow (colorful fruits and vegetables) every day

• Generally eat real, whole, unprocessed foods

• If you love a fatty, sugar, processed junk food, don’t deprive yourself. Eat it every now and then.

• Be active in other ways than deliberate exercise (like a rat in a wheel)–dance, bike, play rope, skate, goof off with your kids

• Make sure that the amount of attention you pay to body image is equal to the amount of attention you dedicate developing your brilliant mind; having fun; enhancing skin, hair, tooth, and nail health and beauty; and being prosperous.

If you consciously and consistently do these things for several months, the exact number of months depending on how close to or far from your ideal body size and shape you are when you start, you will wind up at your ideal size and shape. If you do this and never become (notice I did not say “achieve”) size 2, then join the other 97% of us and be happy.