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Dieting over the Holidays–A Survival Guide*

December 12, 2011 By Leave a Comment

*First of all, the word diet is not a verb so forgetaboutit, and you’re not gonna die from a smidge too much eggnog and fruit cake either.

Next, I’m not about to give you a list of dumbass cliche “holiday survival” tips that will make you feel like a mean ole’ winter troll at the party, but none of us wants to look like a fluffy town polar bear come springtime either. So check out my reasonable ideas to help you keep it together.

  1. If you come to my gathering with a store-bought platter of carrots, celery, and some jank “veggie dip” your’re getting tossed out into the snow, head first.  Instead, why not just bring a bouquet of flowers and eat a light meal before the party and only enjoy little decadent dessert when you get there. [Read more...]

The Happy Healthy Spot between Diet and Exercise Neurosis and Not Giving a Damn

November 2, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Friend 1: “I have sugar-free, fat-free, gluten-free, salt-free wheat-free, nut-free, dairy-free, real food free, flavor and texture free, eco-friendly protein bars for every meal because I’m saving the animals and saving the plants because they have feelings too, but being this fabulously thin is just a lucky side effect.”

Friend 2: “Oh yeah? I’m on day 89 of the annual 100-day peanut butter and duct tape dress size 14 to zero cleanse and I’m in a great mood because I’m rid of all those deadly food toxins that had accumulated in my liver! Seriously, I’m not cranky.”

Friend 3:  “Umph, that’s nothing!  I’ve completely switched to the raw vegan organic sticks and igneous ancient European cave stones Hollywood celebrity lifestyle and I’m losing 46lbs every 8 days!”

Friend 4:  “Oh please.  I woke up at 2am and bench pressed my car, did 5,000 sit ups and 18,000 jumping jacks before dawn, all this before running a full marathon. I can eat whatever I want. Remember, muscle weighs more than fat!”

Friend 5 (me): “Whateva man, I guess that means you all won’t be interested in Sunday brunch at my house–spinach frittata, fresh broccoli salad, smoked salmon, berry and dark chocolate fondue, whole grain apple nut muffins and passionfruit mimosas—followed by some serious dance game shenanigans…” [Read more...]

How Many Times Have you been Back to the Drawing Board?

April 16, 2011 By Leave a Comment

No, I’m not talking about drafting.  I’m talking about revising your eating and movement plan.  I do this every few years.  First I’m looking good and feeling fit and then BAM! the weight starts piling on again, despite the fact that I’m doing pretty much the same thing I had been doing for years.  Everything had been fine when I watched what I ate on weekdays and indulged in some junk food on the weekends.  At some point my pants got too tight. WTH? Well, I hate to be the bringer of bad news but the truth is, things change. Naturally.

Change is Natural

Nutritional needs change, movement ability changes, metabolism changes, tastes change, and caloric necessities change over time.  So what worked five years ago to keep you slim and trim may not work at all now.  So what do we do?  Change.  We have to build on the knowledge we already gained from our bodies and make educated guesses until we get the formula right.  For example, I know that because of my family history, I am predisposed to diabetes.  In my case sugar and refined starches are usually the culprit for unwanted weight gain.  Instinctively I know I must cut back on breads and sweets to slim down.  I find that the older I get the more I must cut back, dammit! [Read more...]

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