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What is a Sensual Lifestyle Like?

February 26, 2012 By Leave a Comment

A sensual lifestyle is one where you experience some joy every single day, no matter what, and that joy is not based on what you have, what you do, or who you know.   It comes from entirely within.  A sensual lifestyle is based on the philosophy and world view of tantra. The characteristics of a sensual lifestyle may differ slightly from person to person, but there are some commonly shared aspects. It is authentic, it’s super-juicy, joyful, and attracts more joy.   It’s primary and immediate — right here and right now.  This concept is very abstract and esoteric, so bear with me while I try to explain what it looks, feels, sounds, tastes, and smells like.

It’s how you feel when you’ve found the style that is so you, so REALLY you that you are like a gorgeous Goddess just the way you are right now, completely unlike the incomplete feeling you get when you get to a certain coveted size or weight.   It’s the freedom and  confidence of inner beauty that allows the natural outer beauty show through, it’s like that Ugly Betty carefree beauty.  It’s the kind of beauty that you don’t need to fiddle with or worry about. This beauty makes you attractive to potential partners who really want you for who you are, not a set of statistics or facade.  You find out that OMG! you’re sexy!  Not necessarily the corporate media’s representation of sexy.  I’m talking about the REAL grown-up irresistibly juicy sexy that can make a grown man cry.  You can throw something together at the last minute and feel like a million bucks (and not think about how you look, instead focusing on having some fun).

You can really taste. Not just sugar and salt, suddenly you’ll notice a huge array of subtle different flavors that previously [Read more...]

My New Year’s Quiet Revolution

December 25, 2011 By Leave a Comment

It’s the end of the year.  I love that the new year is the most defined abrupt change of the year.  You see, spring comes gradually.  But after the dark and noisy December holidays come a brighter, quieter, more peaceful January.  It’s natural to want to use this time to make a big dramatic change in our lives.

You already know I don’t do new year’s resolutions and I don’t do diets.  You’ve heard me say it before, we trade in the darned noisy toy and jewelry advertisements all in our faces just for them to be traded out for ridiculous diet plan and exercise gadget commercials.  But by spring how many people are actually more fit than they were on January 2?  I don’t have hard statistics but you and I both know the number is probably less than 20.  20 people in America.

So!  I’m saving you from my whole bah humbug new year’s resolutions are so stupid presentation.

And I’m not preparing any rah!-rah! come on everybody and do this thing with me project.  Been there, failed terribly.

This revolution is about body image.  It’s quiet because it’s intimate, personal, not done in a class, and introspective in nature.  Why share it with you?  Because perhaps you’ll find it useful in your own journey. If not, that’s fine too. [Read more...]

Wanted: Apple Shaped Figure Fashion Tips, not an Emotional Beatdown!

October 26, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Last week was the first week of chilly weather of the season.  I was getting ready for work when I realized “I DON’T HAVE A THING TO WEAR!”  From time to time I go crazy and throw away or donate everything, and that must have happened sometime between spring and now.  Lucky for me, I know a professional stylist, Candace, and sent her a message. I’ve worked with her before and she is fantastic so I’ll be working with her again.  Now, it’s helpful to give a stylist all of the pertinent info about what help is needed so as preparation for our meeting I decided to look up fashion advice online regarding how to dress an apple shaped body.  Lawdamercy, I had no idea what I was in for! [Read more...]

6 Simple Steps to Gorgeous–No makeup, plastic surgery, or Photoshop necessary.

October 19, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Photo: Matthew Rolston

This photo is featured in O Magazine, of normal size supermodel, Katie Halchishick and founder of Healthy is the New Skinny, posing naked with surgeon’s markings indicating how much of her would need to be chopped off to give her the same proportions as the toy she’s holding. Whaaa?

The same way that greed is the root of evil, negative body image is the root of ugliness.  Have you ever witnessed the not-super-attractive woman walk into a room and light it up like a Xmas tree?  How does she do it?  She does it the same way that so many pretty women make themselves hideous by shlumping around being catty and self loathing.  It’s all in your mind’s image of yourself. [Read more...]

What the Hell is a “Bikini Body” Anyway?

May 24, 2011 By Leave a Comment

I’ve been thinking about this issue for a while.  Last season I did an experiment.  I wanted to see whether a bikini would be more flattering to my relatively fit, hereditarily round bellied body.  My reasoning was that despite the taboo of anybody bigger than a bone can possibly be acceptable in a bikini, in some cases it’s better because tankinis ride up (and the belly pops out) and one piece swimsuits are a hassle.  I started writing about it but never published.  I planned to talk about objectivity when it comes to determining what actually looks good on a particular body.  I also wanted to address the fact that in most other cultures and parts of the world, a swimsuit is not a thing that induces suicidal thoughts, but a utilitarian garment to be used to swim in, with no emotional baggage involved.  Lastly, I wanted to discuss the whole ridiculous notion of a “bikini body”, a highly specific and narrow set of characteristics considered bikini acceptable.  Ophira, of Adios Barbie beat me to the bikini discussion so I wanted to share it with you.  Let me know what you think.

“Bikini Bodies” & The Ugh of Swimsuit Season

For years, I dreaded the arrival of spring magazines, knowing they’d be filled with pages of flirty, colorful and teeny bikinis fitted to fat-free model bodies. I was a girl with cellulite, Beyonce thighs (when she’s eating her favorite southern dishes, that is) and a tum that more than coquettishly peeped over the waistband of any bikini bottom. Well into my 20s, my beach uniform was always a one-piece, usually topped by an oversized T-shirt or tank top and shorts. I hated that moment when everyone sat down and disrobed, casually eyeing how the others looked nearly-naked, our brains registering a comparison to the culture’s ideal. The pressure of exposing my body in public was enough to convince even a sun- and sand-lover like me to stay on the cement.

I had an epiphany at 27, when I decided to say “f— it” and wear a size-16 bikini. Proudly. Publicly. I called myself a “body outlaw” and held my head high. Hey world, here’s a body you don’t usually see in a swimsuit. Get used to it. [Read more...]

My Chat with Somebody’s Thighs

January 31, 2011 By 2 Comments

I went to my husbands gym with him to work on getting my legs and knees strong enough to teach and perform bellydance again next month.  I went to do the quad machine (don’t know the real name of it) which is right in front of the big mirror.  When I stepped off the machine I got a glimpse of the rarely seen in the dead of winter backs of my thighs.  I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Whoa!  Whose are THOSE!?

The conversation could have gone like this:

OMG I HATE YOU!  Big ole’ fatty thick cottage cheesy lumps of mush!  Where the hell did you two hamhocks come from?  [Read more...]

THIN ≠ BEAUTIFUL, FAT ≠ UGLY!!!

June 3, 2010 By 2 Comments

It’s so simple:  Thin = thin.  Beautiful = beautiful.  Thin and beautiful are not opposites like (thin and fat) or (beautiful and ugly).

You can be thin and beautiful or thin and ugly.

You can be beautiful and thin or beautiful and fat.

Classifying fat people as ugly and thin people as beautiful is as ridiculous as the idea that tall people are dumb and short people are smart or that dogs are mean and cats are nice.

If someone who is ugly and fat loses weight but does nothing to become pretty they will still be ugly, just no longer fat.  Similarly, if someone who is pretty and thin gains weight, they will remain pretty even though they have become fat.

So, please don’t lie to someone and tell them that if they lose weight they’ll suddenly become beautiful.  And stop making beautiful fat women feel ugly.

I have already covered this topic before but a few weeks ago an old acquaintance was explaining that she felt out of place in a belly dance class, not because of her skill level, but because of the age and size of the other participants.  She repeatedly told me that those girls were so gorgeous because they were much thinner than she was.  The conversation bothered me and still does whenever I think about it.

This woman healthy and active, and has a voluptuous hourglass-shaped figure.  She is also gorgeous, and she would still be gorgeous even if she were fat.  She has pretty shiny hair, smooth olive skin, sparkling hazel eyes, and a smile that could foster world peace.

When are we going to stop this nonsense?  Do not blame this on men or the media.  Goddesses, we have the power to make this change ourselves right now.

What is Carefree Beauty?

June 17, 2008 By 5 Comments

Carefree beauty is casual beauty that is natural and undeliberate and appealing to the senses beyond simply the visual. It does not involve hiding anything or putting anything on gaudy display. Someone who has carefree sensuality does not try too hard. She never buys in to the heavily orchestrated overly sexualized showy motions of the insecure attention starved girls with the desperate hope that every eye is on her. A woman with carefree sensuality can throw on a sundress with no bra and an old pair of sandals to meet friends in a cafe, and her efforts do not vary based on the gender of those she comes in contact with.

Carefree beauty begins with confidence, not the confidence of a peacock strutting around a courtyard beckoning a glance from every passerby, but the confidence that allows for paying attention to surroundings and not being preoccupied with every detail of one’s self. She cares about how she looks but she is not obsessed with it. She emits a powerful energy force that attracts people of both genders while they have no idea why. It is a rich and decadent beauty that can’t be faked or bought in a bottle and goes far deeper than just looks, into the soul.

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