What is a Sensual Lifestyle Like?

February 26, 2012 By Leave a Comment

A sensual lifestyle is one where you experience some joy every single day, no matter what, and that joy is not based on what you have, what you do, or who you know.   It comes from entirely within.  A sensual lifestyle is based on the philosophy and world view of tantra. The characteristics of a sensual lifestyle may differ slightly from person to person, but there are some commonly shared aspects. It is authentic, it’s super-juicy, joyful, and attracts more joy.   It’s primary and immediate — right here and right now.  This concept is very abstract and esoteric, so bear with me while I try to explain what it looks, feels, sounds, tastes, and smells like.

It’s how you feel when you’ve found the style that is so you, so REALLY you that you are like a gorgeous Goddess just the way you are right now, completely unlike the incomplete feeling you get when you get to a certain coveted size or weight.   It’s the freedom and  confidence of inner beauty that allows the natural outer beauty show through, it’s like that Ugly Betty carefree beauty.  It’s the kind of beauty that you don’t need to fiddle with or worry about. This beauty makes you attractive to potential partners who really want you for who you are, not a set of statistics or facade.  You find out that OMG! you’re sexy!  Not necessarily the corporate media’s representation of sexy.  I’m talking about the REAL grown-up irresistibly juicy sexy that can make a grown man cry.  You can throw something together at the last minute and feel like a million bucks (and not think about how you look, instead focusing on having some fun).

You can really taste. Not just sugar and salt, suddenly you’ll notice a huge array of subtle different flavors that previously [Read more...]

Food Love Sundays: Real Spinach Dip

February 19, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Spinach dip should more be green than white.

  • 4 oz cream cheese, room temperature
  • 1/2 c plain Greek yogurt
  • 1 10 oz pkg frozen spinach, thawed and squeezed dry
  • 2 Tbs radishes, finely chopped
  • 2 Tbs red onion, finely chopped
  • 2 Tbs red bell pepper, finely chopped
  • 1 clove garlic, minced
  • 1/4 tsp dried tarragon
  • 1/4  tsp sea salt
  • 1/4 tsp ground mustard
  • 1/8 tsp freshly ground black pepper
  • 1/8 tsp crushed red pepper flakes

Combine cream cheese and yogurt in a medium bowl.  With a hand held electric mixer, mix on low speed until smooth. Add remaining ingredients and enjoy!

Stoopid Cupid Day, Bah Humbug!

February 13, 2012 By 4 Comments

I just read a whole bunch of totally ridiculous ideas for single people on Valentine’s day all over the internet.  Do my single lady (and gentlemen) friends out there need a reality check?  I’ve got one for you right here.

Valentine’s Day is silly.  It does not matter whether you are single, married, or in some other kind of relationship. I’ve been married for 16 years now and we discovered a while back that Valentine ’s Day is just a money making commercial racket, and it probably irritates us as much as it irritates the single folks.  Cheap nasty overpriced chocolate, wilted red roses that cost a king’s ransom, and the worst: dumb heart-themed diamond jewelry designed for fickle-minded, materialistic,vapid women.

Why is everybody wondering what to do on this fabricated holiday?  You don’t even get the day off so what’s going to be different than any other day?  On the lists of things to do for bitter, sad, pathetic singles on V-day they say go out to dinner with your single friends.  Why?  So you can watch all the sickeningly syrupy sweet, smoochie-smoochie newly together “couples” showing off with a whole lot of orchestrated pda and sucking face in the restaurant?  My husband and I deliberately stay away from restaurants on V-day just to avoid all that.  Besides, everything is overpriced, substandard, and super-crowded.  Not my idea of romantic by far! [Read more...]

Ask Lisa: Setting Boundaries

January 30, 2012 By Leave a Comment

(Ask Lisa is not formally a new series.  It started as an impromptu call for questions while I was bored on the sofa on Sunday afternoon.)

The question was, how do you set good boundaries after you’ve been hurt a time or two without coming off like you’re carrying a lot of baggage?

Your boundaries are actually not for other people, they are for you.  They are rules that you set for yourself that represent the way you would like to be treated.  Imagine how overwhelming it must be for a guy who has just met you to be bombarded with a laundry list of your boundaries.  Of course he’s going to feel like running in the opposite direction because he is under attack.  The purpose of your boundaries is to consciously establish what behaviors you will and will not accept from your partner in advance, so you would not be overwhelmed by the element of surprise if they are crossed, and it is your responsibility to act accordingly to ensure that your boundaries are respected.

Keep your boundaries to yourself, but honor them no matter what. Do not let the myths of too few eligible black men or lack [Read more...]

New Attitude! The Many Shades of Fabulous

January 25, 2012 By Leave a Comment

I’m gonna get real personal here.  Welcome inside my head. So I don’t look fabulous like Sofia Vergara:

I’m not talking about the makeup and the team of pros who fix her up or Photoshop.  I’m talking about her voluptuous curvy figure I’ve always wished for.  I will NEVER look like that.  It still stings a little that I can’t have everything exactly and precisely the way I want it, but working through that… [Read more...]

My New Year’s Quiet Revolution

December 25, 2011 By Leave a Comment

It’s the end of the year.  I love that the new year is the most defined abrupt change of the year.  You see, spring comes gradually.  But after the dark and noisy December holidays come a brighter, quieter, more peaceful January.  It’s natural to want to use this time to make a big dramatic change in our lives.

You already know I don’t do new year’s resolutions and I don’t do diets.  You’ve heard me say it before, we trade in the darned noisy toy and jewelry advertisements all in our faces just for them to be traded out for ridiculous diet plan and exercise gadget commercials.  But by spring how many people are actually more fit than they were on January 2?  I don’t have hard statistics but you and I both know the number is probably less than 20.  20 people in America.

So!  I’m saving you from my whole bah humbug new year’s resolutions are so stupid presentation.

And I’m not preparing any rah!-rah! come on everybody and do this thing with me project.  Been there, failed terribly.

This revolution is about body image.  It’s quiet because it’s intimate, personal, not done in a class, and introspective in nature.  Why share it with you?  Because perhaps you’ll find it useful in your own journey. If not, that’s fine too. [Read more...]

Dieting over the Holidays–A Survival Guide*

December 12, 2011 By Leave a Comment

*First of all, the word diet is not a verb so forgetaboutit, and you’re not gonna die from a smidge too much eggnog and fruit cake either.

Next, I’m not about to give you a list of dumbass cliche “holiday survival” tips that will make you feel like a mean ole’ winter troll at the party, but none of us wants to look like a fluffy town polar bear come springtime either. So check out my reasonable ideas to help you keep it together.

  1. If you come to my gathering with a store-bought platter of carrots, celery, and some jank “veggie dip” your’re getting tossed out into the snow, head first.  Instead, why not just bring a bouquet of flowers and eat a light meal before the party and only enjoy little decadent dessert when you get there. [Read more...]

Food Love Sundays: Spinach and Swiss Chard au Gratin

November 6, 2011 By Leave a Comment

I know you all need some food love right about now.  I found this recipe on the New York Times website and altered it slightly for my own taste and convenience.

1 pound Swiss chard, washed and stemmed

1/2 pound spinach, washed and stemmed

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

1 medium onion, chopped

2 large garlic cloves, minced

House Tuscan Seafood Sprinkle to taste

3 large eggs

1/2 cup (2 ounces) grated gruyère cheese

1 cup cooked basmati brown rice [Read more...]

The Happy Healthy Spot between Diet and Exercise Neurosis and Not Giving a Damn

November 2, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Friend 1: “I have sugar-free, fat-free, gluten-free, salt-free wheat-free, nut-free, dairy-free, real food free, flavor and texture free, eco-friendly protein bars for every meal because I’m saving the animals and saving the plants because they have feelings too, but being this fabulously thin is just a lucky side effect.”

Friend 2: “Oh yeah? I’m on day 89 of the annual 100-day peanut butter and duct tape dress size 14 to zero cleanse and I’m in a great mood because I’m rid of all those deadly food toxins that had accumulated in my liver! Seriously, I’m not cranky.”

Friend 3:  “Umph, that’s nothing!  I’ve completely switched to the raw vegan organic sticks and igneous ancient European cave stones Hollywood celebrity lifestyle and I’m losing 46lbs every 8 days!”

Friend 4:  “Oh please.  I woke up at 2am and bench pressed my car, did 5,000 sit ups and 18,000 jumping jacks before dawn, all this before running a full marathon. I can eat whatever I want. Remember, muscle weighs more than fat!”

Friend 5 (me): “Whateva man, I guess that means you all won’t be interested in Sunday brunch at my house–spinach frittata, fresh broccoli salad, smoked salmon, berry and dark chocolate fondue, whole grain apple nut muffins and passionfruit mimosas—followed by some serious dance game shenanigans…” [Read more...]

Wanted: Apple Shaped Figure Fashion Tips, not an Emotional Beatdown!

October 26, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Last week was the first week of chilly weather of the season.  I was getting ready for work when I realized “I DON’T HAVE A THING TO WEAR!”  From time to time I go crazy and throw away or donate everything, and that must have happened sometime between spring and now.  Lucky for me, I know a professional stylist, Candace, and sent her a message. I’ve worked with her before and she is fantastic so I’ll be working with her again.  Now, it’s helpful to give a stylist all of the pertinent info about what help is needed so as preparation for our meeting I decided to look up fashion advice online regarding how to dress an apple shaped body.  Lawdamercy, I had no idea what I was in for! [Read more...]

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