While this important thing is not the onliest thing we need for overall well-being it is one of the top two things that are just not negotiable.  Substitutions don’t suffice.  The sooner we all accept this thing, the better, healthier, more vibrant, energetic, and beautiful we will all become.

It’s not a pill, it’s not a potion, or a gadget.  What is it!?  It is a fairly simple and easy to access item.  It’s plants.  Nutrient dense, high fiber plants.

Eating plants is the answer.  But wait, don’t go away yet, keep on reading! (WARNING: Food porn ahead)  I do not promote vegetarianism, veganism, raw veganism, or any other ism for that matter, but I have nothing against them.  I believe that it just doesn’t need to be that complicated.  A mainly (90%) plant based diet (which includes unprocessed vegetables, fruits, beans, nuts, seeds, and whole grains) is the answer to pretty much all diet-related ailments.  And all this plant eating can be done with great pleasure.  Sadly, the average American diet is made up of less than 15% unprocessed plant based foods. All of this translates to: we need to eat lots and lots more vegetables.  Vegetables pack the most nutritional punch without breaking the calorie bank.  Fruits come in second, since fructose adds calories.

Vegetables don’t need to be those horrible, gray, soggy, salty canned crap many of us were force fed as children.  I’d never been a fan of vegetables (I can’t stand the word “veggies”) in the past, I only tolerated them.  But when I took the time to discover the exciting, colorful, sweet, sensuous, full of life combinations of flavors that can be created, everything changed.  EVERYTHING.  I’ve made it my job to find the most fantastically delicious way to eat well, with REAL food for REAL foodies.

Let me explain my REAL food obsession.  The pathetic American diet is made up of over 60% processed refined junk.  We know this is not good. Food manufacturers are subsidized to make cheap, refined foods with a long shelf life.  When it was discovered how unbeneficial this is, they responded by continuously coming up with fake additives like Olean or sugars to replace fat, artificial sweeteners to replace refined cane or high fructose corn sugar, and laboratory-created vitamins and minerals to replace the nutrients depleted from processed foods.  The additives only created more problems in addition to the old ones, so their attempts have been a giant fail.  People are fatter and less healthy than ever.

Eating well involves much much more than simply eating to lose/maintain weight.  We think of it that way just because our culture is obsessed with weight.  Healthy means so much more than that.  Healthy means warding off illnesses; having strong teeth and bones, shiny hair, clear skin and nails, and a sound mind.  So looking to eat well from a strictly weight loss perspective is missing the mark altogether.  Omitting entire food groups is not the key.   It’s neither here nor there for me, but if you want to be vegetarian, don’t eat fake-ass meat.  If you’re vegan, why would you mess it up with some plastic-y, orange, non-dairy shredded processed craziness?  I also can’t understand why raw foodists dissolve food in things to make it seem cooked.  How can this fake food be any better than the manufactured substances designed to “fix” heavily refined junk foods? What’s the point?  The bottom line is, food should do your body good, but it should also be delicious and REAL.

Speaking of delicious, then there are the healthy food extremists.  They rightfully aimed to get back nutrients by eating all natural foods and swearing off manufactured food (yay!) but in my opinion some folks went way to far in the opposite direction.  I don’t care what they say, eating sticks and stones can bring no pleasure.  I will never believe anyone who tells me they eat wheatgrass for pleasure, because it’s just not possible.  It is unnecessary to become a holy food martyr just to be healthy.  It is as simple as changing the proportions of what we eat to favor fruits and vegetables and drastically reduce refined foods.

I have vegetarian and vegan recipes, but also dishes where the main ingredient is vegetables but contain meat or dairy.  The emphasis is not on complete elimination of meat or dairy, but a significant increase of the proportion of vegetables to everything else in the overall diet.

I love good, real food, and I don’t eat fake or nasty crap!  Increasing plant food intake is really not very hard, if you can make eating enjoyable.  Focusing on the colorful, textured, flavorful fruits and vegetables makes healthy eating a piece of cake. (Ooops, not that)  Hang with me and I promise, you’ll discover the sweet sensuousness of plant-based eating with recipes and cooking videos. Oh yes, and then there’s always hot food porn.

Related posts:

1. Food Love Sundays: Easy 100% Whole Wheat Biscuits that Actually Taste Good!

What if you gave all that a break for a while, it must be utterly exhausting!

Oh, no!  Break your stride, no way! You know I would never suggest that you backslide to your old ways and reverse all that great progress.

But what if you do pretty much the same things you do now except within a different frame of mind?  What if the high level of anxiety you are maintaining around the idea of “losing weight” were the very thing causing you to keep the weight on?  How would things be different if there was a shift in focus from what you can’t eat and how many calories you burn with every single movement you make to giving your body something else it needs–affection, adornment, and adoration?

But how?  You know how much I don’t like corny affirmations and “self love bla bla bla…”  So we aren’t doing that.  Here are a few handy tips to get things moving again and you feeling like a Goddess:

• Buy a cute new outfit that is comfortable and not tight or fitted (that you could still wear if you lost a few more pounds) along with lots of rich accessories that make you feel great.  What were you gonna do, be frumpy-schlumpy until the day after you lose that last coveted quarter pound?  What if you come close but don’t lose all the weight? Do it now and enjoy!
• Search online for six decadent recipes that fit your desired nutritional profile, but focus mainly on finding things that look delicious and excite you to spice things up.  Why not plan a sensuous picnic?
• Prepare to reach your goal.  Often, people lose weight only to be disappointed that their lives are the same as before, because their mindsets are stuck in the past.  Pretend you have already reached your goal.  Strut around, meet that special someone, embark on a new adventure, find your new style.  Start living decadently right now!
• Treat yourself to that new hairstyle, buy some new makeup, have a spa day, and go out for an evening on the town. Why wait?
• Go ahead and try those physical activities you’ve been waiting to try until you lose all the weight, and add them to your fitness routine. Take a dance class, learn to swim, go hiking, whatever seems like fun!  If you haven’t already, start incorporating incidental exercise by taking the stairs, walking more, etc. as well.
• Don’t be half-assed beautiful, go all the way!  Don’t hate your body parts.  There’s no need to go to great lengths to  hide parts you think are less than perfect, just focus on what makes you look and feel good and bask in all the glorious compliments you’ll get from your new confident attitude.
• Begin your transition away from emergency weight loss action mode towards healthy lifestyle maintenance mode.  What do I mean by this?  I mean stop talking about dieting.  Stop apologizing for your healthy food choices.  Cease turning every conversation into weight loss plans/progress/failure/whatever conversations.
• Continue your healthy habits wholeheartedly, but relax with the monitoring.  Don’t walk around 24/7 with a number stuck in your head.  Let some of the weight loss anxiety flow away.

You’re gorgeous now, and you’ll be gorgeous later.  So feel free to start living your real life now, right now and see just how effortlessly things will fall into place.

I’m on a mission to change the world for the better, one lifestyle at a time. If you’ve enjoyed this post, please spread the love by sharing on Facebook or Twitter (click an icon below) or emailing it to a friend.  Quick, do it now! Thanks lovely.

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1. Nutritional Density: Let me break it on down (Part 4) Broccoli has More Protein than Beef, Key to Weight Loss

UPDATE  4/18 – You can add half a teaspoon of turmeric to the water when cooking the rice for more antioxidant nutrition and nice yellow color.   Also, I’ve gotten several requests for the pureed cashew recipe.  It’s very easy.  Just take a cup or so of whole raw cashews and put them into a food processor on high speed until completely crumbled.  Then slowly add chicken or vegetable broth until the mixture is smooth.  Voila, there you have it.

Related posts:

1. Food Love Sundays: Fake Food Upgrade–Broccoli Rice Au Gratin
2. Food Love Sundays: Broccoli Salad
3. Food Love Sundays: Mixed Greens Like your Grandma used to Make

There is our physical body, and our subtle body.  A subtle body is described as a series of psycho-spiritual components made of energy, and is not visible with the naked eye or medical technology.  Movement, flow, and balance of these energies, affected by meditation, breath, and arousal permeate all aspects of life by dictating perspective and consciousness at all times.

There at least four subtle bodies:

• Etheric body – prana (the breath)
• Astral – desires, emotions (chakras)
• Mental – concrete (lower mind)
• Causal – abstract (higher mind)

(Each) subtle body is an energy field which has a structure, which influences and gives life to the physical body. This body has several interconnected layers, but of interest here are the first four: the etheric body, the template of and interface with the physical body, where sensation is perceived; the astral/emotional body, which relates to the individual’s emotional state; the mental body, which contains the thinking patterns; and the causal body, the soul or level of higher intuition. ~Roz Carroll

The chakra system is located in the astral body, along our spinal column.  Think of the chakras as spinning subtle energy vortexes. In tantra and yoga traditions each chakra is represented by a lotus flower with a particular number of petals and color.  Each is also associated with different life perspectives, organs, endocrine glands, and basic emotions.  The chakras are connected by energy channels or flows of consciousness, called nadis.  The central nadi, sushumna, runs along the inside of the spinal column.  Ida is lunar, cool, feminine, and associated with the right brain.  Pingala is solar, warm, masculine, and associated with the left brain.  Ida and pingala spiral around sushumna, transporting kundalini energy through the chakras, in the form of pranic (breath) force, mental force, and spiritual force.

Kundalini is the dormant potential force in humans.  It sits coiled like a sleeping serpent at the root of the spinal column and when awakened, ascends upwards through each chakra.  As kundalini passes through each chakra it stimulates a different inactive part of the brain.

The idea of invoking the divine feminine, in a practical sense, means to have the ability to be powerfully assertive when a situation requires it, but to have the presence of mind to be passive when appropriate, being able to focus will to manifest positive achievements, receive pleasure, and experience your own creativity, love, enhanced intuition and higher spiritual awareness in life.

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1. What is Tantra? An Informal Explanation

There was only a small window of time of which I did not loathe going to the gym.  It was when I worked at a small, friendly neighborhood gym owned by a good friend of mine.  It was a joy to go in there and see all kinds of people, different ages, sizes, and fitness levels.  In the abs class there was fun and lighthearted competition to be the best.  There were always laughs to be had.

I hated going to the gym before then, and I hate them now.  It’s really only the big corporate gyms that give me a headache but not because they are big and corporate.  It just happens that way.  I recently started going to a big (actually extremely nice) facility just for a month or two to try a fitness experiment to see if I can more quickly drop some of my winter fluff.  I didn’t join, I just got a pass so I can attend some classes.

You see I like it one of two ways.  Either I like a friendly and non-judgmental environment, or I want no contact, as in mind yo own damn business.  I don’t want to deal with the gym bitches.  Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about!

So the other day I was arriving for my first spin class ever.  I was all smiles, with a good attitude, because it was 8:30, not my usual cranky workout time of 6am.  A gym bitch literally saw me and started to RUN to get in front of me.  What did I do?  I walked swiftly but with large slow-looking strides and just looked at her as if (and she was) acting stone crazy.Anyway, I just straighten up and forget about it.  I’m ready for some serious fat blasting!  I go in there and the class is (as always) about 3/4 women.  And most of them are bone skinny.  Now you KNOW I love people of all shapes and sizes, there’s enough beauty out there for all of us.  AND, it’s NOT that I think (like some ignorant folks) that skinny people don’t need to work out.  Everybody should exercise to keep their hearts and bodies healthy.  But you would think that these flacas would be a little more relaxed about it, unlike the ones of us concerned about how many calories we are burning and what not.  But the skinny women are the ones who are super-uptight.  They had strained wrinkle-inducing looks on their faces.  Plenty of eye rolling was going on along with snotfaced glances and obvious frowns.  These are the ones being so obviously show-offish that it makes ME feel embarrassed for THEM.  In the yoga portion, they so conspicuously eyeball everybody in the room when they should be focused on their breathing to make sure they have an audience for their fabulous performance.  Why?

Then, before my second class, I’m at the counter ready to get my little card stamped and some gym bitch turns all the way around and gives me the most evil eye.  For what!!!?  What’s with these mean gym bitches?  Three words: LOW SELF ESTEEM.  I know they are ultra-competitive but geez, I’m not even in the crew!  Now I know I’m beautiful but I’m sure that to these impossibly thin women I must be morbidly obese, like a hippo!  (mind you, I’m only slightly overweight–size 10) So what’s the deal?  Are they afraid that if I keep at these classes and lose 10-15lbs I might be so damn hot that I’ll steal all their little dudes, some of whom I’m old enough to be their mama?  WTH!

Wholesome self-esteem is the conviction that one is as worthwhile as anyone else, but not more so. On one hand, we feel a quiet gladness to be who we are and a sense of dignity that comes from realizing that we share what all humans possess — intrinsic worth. On the other hand, those with self-esteem remain humble, realizing that everyone has much to learn and that we are all really in the same boat. ~Glenn R. Schiraldi

Perhaps if these women spent a little more time being present on the task at hand, and less effort sizing up, evaluating, criticizing, and being rude snotty gym bitches, they might just be a little more happier with themselves and make the gym a more pleasant place to be.  In the meantime, I’m just going to do my thing and not let the nonsense affect me too much.  I’ve got work to do!

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So I re-created the dish from these ingredients, listed by quantity:

Fresh broccoli, brown basmati rice, cashew puree, organic cheddar cheese, gruyere cheese, onions, garlic, organic low sodium chicken broth, olive oil, black pepper and sea salt.

The family tore it up!  You’ll have to stay tuned for a recipe with exact amounts because I didn’t measure anything.  The only change I might make is to add a little bit of turmeric for color.

Here is the ingredient list for the Uncle Ben’s version:

ENRICHED PARBOILED RICE [LONG GRAIN RICE, NIACIN, IRON (FERRIC ORTHOPHOSPHATE), THIAMIN (THIAMINE MONONITRATE), FOLATE (FOLIC ACID)]; WHEY; PARMESAN/CHEDDAR/ROMANO/BLUE CHEESES*† (MILK, CULTURES, SALT, ENZYMES); SALT; BROCCOLI*; ENRICHED WHEAT FLOUR [WHEAT FLOUR, NIACIN, REDUCED IRON, THIAMIN (THIAMINE MONONITRATE), RIBOFLAVIN, FOLATE (FOLIC ACID)]; AUTOLYZED YEAST EXTRACT; RICE FLOUR; MODIFIED FOOD STARCH; ONION POWDER; SODIUM CITRATE; PARSLEY*; NATURAL FLAVORS; BUTTERMILK*; SUGAR; XANTHAN GUM; NONFAT MILK*; SPICE; DISODIUM INOSINATE AND DISODIUM GUANYLATE; CITRIC ACID; BUTTER* (CREAM, SALT); LACTIC ACID; ANNATTO (COLOR); TURMERIC (COLOR); MALTODEXTRIN. *DRIED. †Adds a trivial amount of trans fat.

Which would you prefer to eat and serve your family?

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Shared Struggles
Our collective history has blessed us with strength, fortitude, and resilience. But it has also cursed us with identity struggles, health issues, social and economic challenges, as well as attacks from all sides by the mainstream American culture.  And how does this affect our families and our communities?

• Historic racial and gender injustices. Lately, turn on the news, or log onto social media and what we see about what is going on today is enough to make us scream. We desperately need our divine feminine power to help us raise strong children in a society that continuously depicts or girls as inherently unattractive, hyper-sexual, and unworthy; and our boys as dangerous, criminal, unintelligent, and less than human.  ENOUGH!

• Man problems. Buying into the tired myth that there are not enough eligible men?  Forget about it, he is out there!  In order to attract the right man, we need to be sure we reflect the right woman. Living in fear of being without a man and “settling” for the wrong one (not because of some arbitrary physical or unreasonable financial requirements not wrong because of some arbitrary physical or unreasonable financial requirements, but wrong because he is not compatible with our values and aspirations) out of perceived necessity is damaging our families.  Being happy as a couple first requires our happiness as one.

• Heart disease, diabetes, and obesity. Despite recent studies and media coverage of confident, overweight black women these diseases are running rampant and threatening the very foundation of our physical selves. The old habits of the past need to be replaced with new habits for the future, if we are to thrive as a people. This is more than an issue of vanity. We may be living longer, but what can be said of the quality of life?  What about the burden we place on our young ones when we suffer from bad health?

Historically, African American women have surmounted some of the steepest barriers ever. We are survivors, the daughters of survivors from the worst times. It is a willingness to embrace the spiritual aspect of our very DNA that can make each of us better. Better for our families, our communities, and the world.   As women of the African Diaspora, this is our birthright, and it needs reclaiming.

African American Women: The Feminine Archetypes
You may have some concept of your inner feminine power. It’s but one part of our complex source of energy. It’s the spirit that’s represented by different aspects of the divine Goddess.
I’ve compiled some general characteristics into archetypes to highlight the nature of our specific feminine strengths and weaknesses. To which “archetype(s)” do you self-subscribe? How do others view you?  Note: these could be construed as stereotypes, but please put that idea aside for our purposes here.

• The African Queen:  Elegant and regal, the African queen’s head is lifted. She’s always looking up, and looking out. She identifies with her often lost or unknown motherland heritage; she wears battles past deep in her heart. She is the protector of civil rights and humanity, and the arts. She commands respect. The African Queen struggles to bring her level of consciousness to the masses, in order to bring positive change to communities at large. She seems all-powerful but often needs more self-nurturing to sustain herself long-term.

• The Diva:  Being a Diva is about looking good and feeling fierce. A Diva has attitude and raw, exuberant confidence. A proud African American woman, she is confident about her life choices, particularly when swathed in the latest designer brands. She is sharp, talented, and insightful. She’s on a mission to take the world by storm. She lives the lights, cameras, action life. Yet, there’s always something still missing. There is more to her, something deeper,  that needs to be revealed.

• The BBW:  Some African American women are big and beautiful. But don’t get it twisted! She does not lack high self-esteem because of her size and shape. Unlike women in other cultures our BBWs often bask in the sexual attention their thick, curvy bodies draw. BMI be damned, she is just not that pressed about losing weight. Nor does her generous frame typically prevent her from enjoying a vibrant social life. There’s just more of her to love.  It would benefit her to embrace a healthy lifestyle they way she embraces her voluptuous curves for a better and longer life.
• The Momma:  The matriarch and nurturer, and the protector of everyone and everything.  She is demanding but she doesn’t always take time to care for herself.  She can be hell on wheels at times but we all know that inside she is tender and loving.

• The Sista-girl:  The sista girl is like the girl next door.  She operates well within the American mainstream.  She is driven, independent, successful, and very smart.  But despite all of her successes she can still become caught up in society’s (other people’s) ideas of what her ideal life should be like. She is often health conscious, but vulnerable to poor body image.

No matter our types – or archetypes – there is still a need for transformation. Every one of us could use a measure of balancing, to bring us to the level of a Goddess. The balance and true beauty happens when we embrace and expand on the divine feminine within us.

Call to Action
We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily difference we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee. ~Marian Wright Edelman, American Activist, Families in Peril

Take small steps, very small steps. Flash one extra smile today. Open one door faster to heal an issue with a friend or family member. Say a little prayer for peace with your nemesis. From there, it is a small distance to travel to accomplish bigger, better things for yourself.
Consider these among your first steps:

Feel Powerful and Self-complete:  If you’re not “whole” when that special someone arrives, you make it tough for them to stay. When shopping, no one buys that which is broken. Increase your value by “fixing” your neediness, jealousy, and possessiveness. Nobody can “complete” you. You have everything you will ever need to be the best you can be.

Balance your Masculine Power:  Tone down negative masculine attributes we all possess–the aggressiveness, greed, and materialism–by releasing the scarcity myth. Soften those calloused, calculating edges with more feminine attributes. If you’ve been told you’re too self-absorbed, that is masculine energy overkill. When you embrace your true power from within, new and magical things begin to occur.

Banish Fear of the Unknown: Get past the doubts and old wives’ tales that keep you from discovering your own unique happiness and success. What works for one sista may not work for you. And trust me, the answers are not found in those low-level girl-mags on the newsstand or the latest celebrity talk shows. The answers are within you, but you have to be open to receiving them.

Deal with Health and Stress-related Issues: Become a stronger version of yourself. Shed excess pounds and your protect health overall. Improve your life by becoming physically fit. Expose yourself to more positive vibrations. Come on out of your boring old comfort zone and try practicing dance, yoga, art, or something completely new and exciting.

Want to go Deeper? Discover Tantra to Uncover Your Bliss
Roughly translated from Hindi, the term tantra means “to weave” the mind, body, and spirit. It literally means you can expand your entire being through acceptance. Specifically, it will increase awareness of your intuition, your senses, and energy. When you have awareness of your powerful energies, you have the ability to balance them with tantric meditation and chakra work. Tantra balances your feminine and masculine energies. It will give you the impetus to seek better health and relaxation. Tantra also gives you a focused sense of purpose. Through tantra, you’ll learn to be open to receiving your gifts when they appear.  Don’t be skeptical. Tantra is not that hot mess you saw on HBO Real Sex. It’s a scientific method, a world view, and a way of life.  Curious? Here’s how you can explore tantra with me – from where you’re sitting right now.

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• Saute several days worth of aromatics and store in the refrigerator.

I noticed that eating pretty much all fresh food I am using lots more aromatics.  Aromatics are vegetables like onions, garlic, celery, or peppers as well as herbs that are used to create the base flavor for a dish.  According to Fine Cooking,

These basic mixtures go by different names in different cuisines, but they always play an important part in the character of a dish. A French mirepoix, an Italian soffritto, or a Portuguese refogado will each provide a foundation of flavor that will ultimately distinguish a dish from a similar one in another cuisine.

• Cook whole grains and dried beans that take longer to cook and store in refrigerator.

Brown rice takes more the twice the time to cook than white rice and dried beans need to be soaked for hours before cooking and actual cooking time is long as well.  So why not cook your rice and beans ahead of time and store in the refrigerator.

• Chop your salad greens and raw vegetables and keep them in a large bowl for easy access in the morning when packing lunches or for a quick meal addition.

Do not include dried fruits, nuts, or dressings, as these will become soggy or cause the greens to lose their crispness.  Besides, these are quick additions anyway, and don’t take up the time the way vegetable chopping does. ( I hate chopping vegetables)

• Cut up your meat and marinate for 2-4 hours in the refrigerator before freezing, marinade and all.

If you buy meats and throw them into the freezer immediately it requires you to defrost and then marinate before cooking.  On weekdays this can be a deal breaker.  On cooking day, defrost the meat in the fridge during the day and it will be ready to cook in the evening, and tasty! Oh, and don’t use those phony packaged high fructose corn syrup laden store varieties.  Experiment on your own.  One of my favorites is a simple mixture of lemon juice, olive oil, garlic, rosemary, and a pinch of salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste.

• Prepare at least one soup that can be used as a side dish and store in the fridge.

Vegetable soups are a super easy way to boast your vegetable intake and the nutritional value to your everyday meals.  Besides, if you have a sports engagement or late meeting you can simply have the soup and salad for dinner instead of something that requires more lengthy preparation. Today I am going to try Dr. Fuhrman’s Famous Anti-Cancer Soup.  I’m so sure it is going to be a hit.

• Measure out the ingredients for smoothies and put into one container for easy use.

I drink fresh fruit and vegetable smoothies every morning after my exercise but before I get ready for work.  Running around the kitchen for all the ingredients can be a hassle.  But putting all the fruits, vegetables, yogurt for your serving(s) into one container eliminates the need for all of that.  Just dump into the blender and viola!

You can eat nutrition dense high fiber delicious means for yourself and your family no matter how busy you are.  It only takes a little bit of smart planning.  Do you have additional suggestions for food preparation for busy people?  Please share!

I’m on a mission to change the world for the better, one lifestyle at a time. If you’ve enjoyed this post, please spread the love by sharing on Facebook or Twitter (click an icon below) or emailing it to a friend.  Quick, do it now! Thanks lovely.

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(Girls) are raised from our earliest memories to believe our happiness, success, ability to be loved, and confidence come almost exclusively from how we appear to others.

This passage immediately brought up mental images of women who fit the standard media-defined beauty, walking nervously, shoulders up to their ears, butt cheeks clenched tightly together, constantly pulling, tugging, and adjusting their clothing right in the middle of some ridiculously fun mayhem and debauchery.  I see these women as going through the motions and not authentically living life. 

It can be a challenge for some of us to just relax and let our hair down without worry.  In order to be able to do this, you must already believe that you are beautiful.  If there is a self esteem issue, that needs to be dealt with in the first place.  Otherwise, you can train your eye over time to recognize your real beauty.  It’s important to be able to differentiate between glam beauty, fake celebrity beauty, and the beauty that just comes naturally.  Can you tell the difference?

I’m on a mission to change the world for the better, one lifestyle at a time. If you’ve enjoyed this post, please spread the love by sharing on Facebook or Twitter (click an icon below) or emailing it to a friend.  Quick, do it now! Thanks lovely.

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Whole Wheat Biscuits

• 2 cups whole wheat flour (She uses King Arthur’s white whole wheat organic flour; I used Bob’s Red Mill organic stone ground white whole wheat pastry flour)
• 4 teaspoons baking powder
• ½ teaspoon salt
• ¼ cup cold unsalted butter
• 1 cup milk (any kind)

In a medium sized bowl combine flour, baking powder, and salt. Mix well with whisk or fork. Cut the ½ stick butter into little pea sized pieces and then mix the pieces into the flour mixture. Using a fork, try to mash the butter pieces as you mix it together with the flour until it resembles coarse crumbs. It is okay if the outcome just looks like the same pea sized pieces of butter covered with flour. Then pour in the milk and mix it all together. Knead the dough with your hands 8 to 10 times and then turn out onto a counter or cutting board. Pat it out flat with your hands until the dough is a somewhat even ¾-inch thickness (sprinkle with a little flour if necessary). Turn a drinking glass upside down and cut out biscuit rounds. I have also used shaped cookie cutters (like a heart or star) if you have little ones helping you! Then put them on an ungreased cookie sheet and bake at 450 degrees for 10 – 12 minutes or until lightly browned.

Yield: 8 – 10 biscuits (depending on the size that you cut them)

Enjoy!

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It’s how you feel when you’ve found the style that is so you, so REALLY you that you are like a gorgeous Goddess just the way you are right now, completely unlike the incomplete feeling you get when you get to a certain coveted size or weight.   It’s the freedom and  confidence of inner beauty that allows the natural outer beauty show through, it’s like that Ugly Betty carefree beauty.  It’s the kind of beauty that you don’t need to fiddle with or worry about. This beauty makes you attractive to potential partners who really want you for who you are, not a set of statistics or facade.  You find out that OMG! you’re sexy!  Not necessarily the corporate media’s representation of sexy.  I’m talking about the REAL grown-up irresistibly juicy sexy that can make a grown man cry.  You can throw something together at the last minute and feel like a million bucks (and not think about how you look, instead focusing on having some fun).

You can really taste. Not just sugar and salt, suddenly you’ll notice a huge array of subtle different flavors that previously went ignored and unnoticed. Tasting mindfully sensitizes your taste buds and olfactory detectors and makes food more satisfying.  If you’ve had problems with overeating, converting to a sensual lifestyle won’t cure you forever, but will give you a huge edge on living a healthy lifestyle.  You will crave less because once you tone down the overindulgence of things you don’t need, it will be easy to intuitively know what your body needs and fulfill those needs with the correct foods.

You will learn to live more in the present.  Why is this important?  Being in the here and now temporarily relieves the anxiety and pressure about the future and the past.  You won’t become oblivious to the past and future but it will be easier to put into its proper perspective, which is basically just elements of your imagination.  Managing your emotions is easier because you are free to acknowledge and release them without dragging them out over and over again.  When you are sad, you can honor your sadness and let it pass, to get back to your happy self again.

Living a sensual lifestyle allows you to use your senses for meditative purposes.  Sensuality serves as a different form of meditation that may be more a more accessible means to reconnect with what is authentic inside of us, allowing us to observe our condition from a neutral, relaxed perspective. Often we are either too busy in our daily lives to fully recognize our core values or are too accustomed to letting outside influences, i.e. religion, commercial or societal values, opinions of family and friends, etc. guide our desires to easily make decisions that correctly align or actions with them.  Although sensuality does not actually refer to stimuli that are positive or negative, the more engaging and pleasurable the experience, the more easily we can stay in that place of presence and allow our core values and passions to surface clearly. The key to sensual meditation is actively observing through our senses enough to keep us present but yet not so much as to overwhelm or distract us, and that is relaxing enough to quiet mental chatter. We must become aware of our sensations but without thinking about them. We are giving all sensations, both the pleasurable and the unpleasant or stressful ones, a place to simply BE. Without fighting or ignoring or manipulation, we can just observe them and release them, where they will cease to cloud our thoughts and judgments. Essentially here we are giving attention to our body-mind connection. Sensuality is the bridge between the body and the mind, because all thoughts originate with the senses. Get them working together in harmony and see what miracles can happen!

I’m on a mission to change the world for the better, one lifestyle at a time. If you’ve enjoyed this post, please spread the love by sharing on Facebook or Twitter (click an icon below) or emailing it to a friend.  Quick, do it now! Thanks lovely.

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• 4 oz cream cheese, room temperature
• 1/2 c plain Greek yogurt
• 1 10 oz pkg frozen spinach, thawed and squeezed dry
• 2 Tbs radishes, finely chopped
• 2 Tbs red onion, finely chopped
• 2 Tbs red bell pepper, finely chopped
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1/4 tsp dried tarragon
• 1/4  tsp sea salt
• 1/4 tsp ground mustard
• 1/8 tsp freshly ground black pepper
• 1/8 tsp crushed red pepper flakes

Combine cream cheese and yogurt in a medium bowl.  With a hand held electric mixer, mix on low speed until smooth. Add remaining ingredients and enjoy!

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2. Food Love Sundays: Spinach and Swiss Chard au Gratin
3. Food Love Sundays: Moqueca (Brazilian Seafood Stew)

Valentine’s Day is silly.  It does not matter whether you are single, married, or in some other kind of relationship. I’ve been married for 16 years now and we discovered a while back that Valentine ’s Day is just a money making commercial racket, and it probably irritates us as much as it irritates the single folks.  Cheap nasty overpriced chocolate, wilted red roses that cost a king’s ransom, and the worst: dumb heart-themed diamond jewelry designed for fickle-minded, materialistic,vapid women.

Why is everybody wondering what to do on this fabricated holiday?  You don’t even get the day off so what’s going to be different than any other day?  On the lists of things to do for bitter, sad, pathetic singles on V-day they say go out to dinner with your single friends.  Why?  So you can watch all the sickeningly syrupy sweet, smoochie-smoochie newly together “couples” showing off with a whole lot of orchestrated pda and sucking face in the restaurant?  My husband and I deliberately stay away from restaurants on V-day just to avoid all that.  Besides, everything is overpriced, substandard, and super-crowded.  Not my idea of romantic by far!

Another idiotic suggestion for the miserable singles is to take a long bubble bath.  Wha!? I don’t know about you, but that would make me want to burst into tears.  That seems like an extra lonely thing to do, which is why I would reserve the “Calgon, take me away” moments for when I’m overwhelmed by too many people and too much action.

This year Valentine’s Day falls on a Toozday.  Go to work.  Don’t get all emotional if you see a few of the women in your office getting a bouquet of a dozen raggedy roses thrown in the door by the harried courier making his or her record-setting rounds.  Why not just bring some of your favorite goodies, like cupcakes or other treats to share with everyone?  (I’m not saying this just so my coworkers can feed me) It will take some of the attention off of the few and bring some fun and festiveness to the whole office. Then after work go home.  It will be a day just like any other.

Now, if Valentines’ day fell on a weekend, then I’d say to plan a trip to Vegas with some friends and act a damn fool.  Because theoretically the strip bars and other shenanigans would be a free for all, because all the couples are busy sitting up in Red Lobster making googly-eyes at each other. Or just do anything else that is done in any place that’s not all romantical.  The sky’s the limit!

Whatever you choose to do or not do, don’t let this be a day for sitting around lamenting that you are not coupled up with somebody, just any ole’ warm body for the sake of getting some cliché trinkets and extra attention on just one day of the year.  Be who you are, do what you do, and forget about it.  Be happy with your fabulous self.  You are the same you you were on February 13^th, and February 15^th. For real.

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The question was, how do you set good boundaries after you’ve been hurt a time or two without coming off like you’re carrying a lot of baggage?

Your boundaries are actually not for other people, they are for you.  They are rules that you set for yourself that represent the way you would like to be treated.  Imagine how overwhelming it must be for a guy who has just met you to be bombarded with a laundry list of your boundaries.  Of course he’s going to feel like running in the opposite direction because he is under attack.  The purpose of your boundaries is to consciously establish what behaviors you will and will not accept from your partner in advance, so you would not be overwhelmed by the element of surprise if they are crossed, and it is your responsibility to act accordingly to ensure that your boundaries are respected.

Keep your boundaries to yourself, but honor them no matter what. Do not let the myths of too few eligible black men or lack of self esteem to make you waiver from your decision. You have the power to determine what you want in your life.  There is no need to justify, negotiate, or modify your boundaries.  You own them. It is also unnecessary to have a punishment or course of action ready and set for if the boundary is violated.  All you have to know is that you will not tolerate the behavior, end of story.  Once you acknowledge the power you have to establish and enforce your own boundaries, you effectively ensure that they will be respected by your partner.

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I’m not talking about the makeup and the team of pros who fix her up or Photoshop.  I’m talking about her voluptuous curvy figure I’ve always wished for.  I will NEVER look like that.  It still stings a little that I can’t have everything exactly and precisely the way I want it, but working through that…Wait!  I’m fabulous like Lisa:

That’s me in my 42nd birthday outfit. No team of beauty people, no pro photographer, and no edits.  Not bad.  Letting go of the silly fantasy of sexy round hips is the right thing for me to do.  Face it, Sofia can’t be fabulous like me either.  Stupid little voice: “now WHY would she wish for something like that”?  Me: Oh shut the hell up you little troll, I have plenty going for me, it just doesn’t happen to be a proportioned swimsuit figure that makes men fall to their knees. Maybe it’s my juicy juicy lips, or my brilliant mind. Besides, a few men have fallen to their knees because of me and no, I didn’t trip them!  I’m not going to go through the long list of things I have going for me because they only matter to me. What matters to you is the long list of things you have going for you.  Get it?

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You already know I don’t do new year’s resolutions and I don’t do diets.  You’ve heard me say it before, we trade in the darned noisy toy and jewelry advertisements all in our faces just for them to be traded out for ridiculous diet plan and exercise gadget commercials.  But by spring how many people are actually more fit than they were on January 2?  I don’t have hard statistics but you and I both know the number is probably less than 20.  20 people in America.

So!  I’m saving you from my whole bah humbug new year’s resolutions are so stupid presentation.

And I’m not preparing any rah!-rah! come on everybody and do this thing with me project.  Been there, failed terribly.

This revolution is about body image.  It’s quiet because it’s intimate, personal, not done in a class, and introspective in nature.  Why share it with you?  Because perhaps you’ll find it useful in your own journey. If not, that’s fine too.

It started with this note to my fashion stylist friend.

I did thousands of sit ups and crunches
Became the champion in ab boot camp classes (I even beat out the football players)
Lost 30 lbs.
Gained them back
Sucked it in
Had the fat sucked out with lipo (twice)
Stuffed it into a girdle, even the super support garments just bow out and make me look pregnant
Work out HARD 4 mornings a week

And no matter what, the rotund belly reigns supreme.

So time for a new attitude.

I remember the gap between Madonna’s teeth and how sexy I thought that was and even wanted one. Before Madonna, a gap in the front teeth was something that required immediate and urgent corrective action. It’s about how she carried it.

How about Jennifer Lopez’s butt?  I’m sure many in mainstream white society said, “Oh my Gaaah, look at her BUTT!”  However, she had a mindset advantage because that butt was good as gold in the black and hispanic communities. She lost tons of weight, but that butt didn’t go anywhere. And now, look who’s getting Brazilian Booty Lifts.  It’s all in the way she carried it.

What about Molly Ringwald’s flamin’ red hair?  Back in the day, red hair was teased relentlessly and considered to be hideous.  Now women dye their hair red so they can be fiery vixens.

Also, Michelle Obama’s hips come to mind.  I never (except for the dumbass right wing talk radio assholes) hear anybody (except ooops, wait now, after a quick internet search numerous jealous losers with low self esteem) bemoaning her hips. The majority praises her for always looking fabulous…

I never really had a problem with low self esteem.  I don’t care about celebrities’ shapes or magazine Photoshop tricks. My weight issues aren’t major.  But I’ve been fiending for an hourglass shape since I can remember.  I’m finally at the point where that’s enough.  It’s a wrap.  The struggle is OVER.  I’m going to wear this round belly well.  No empire waist tent dresses, no crazified color block outfits.  I’m finished with wearing clothing shaped like how I wish I were shaped and then feeling self conscious that people will mistake me for pregnant. I’ll continue with my current rigorous fitness routine, and expand my nutrilicious recipe repertoire  to drop a few pounds (because of the scale at the doctor’s office that let me know that things are a little over the top).  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But the main thing that will change is my thinking.  This belly thing is much more in my head than anywhere else and it’s time for this revolution now.  Just in time for the new year.

I’m on a mission to change the world, one lifestyle at a time. If you’ve enjoyed this post, please share it by pasting a link on your Facebook wall, liking it, or emailing it to a friend.  Thanks.

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Next, I’m not about to give you a list of dumbass cliche “holiday survival” tips that will make you feel like a mean ole’ winter troll at the party, but none of us wants to look like a fluffy town polar bear come springtime either. So check out my reasonable ideas to help you keep it together.

1. If you come to my gathering with a store-bought platter of carrots, celery, and some jank “veggie dip” your’re getting tossed out into the snow, head first.  Instead, why not just bring a bouquet of flowers and eat a light meal before the party and only enjoy little decadent dessert when you get there.
2. Do not attempt to make a nonfat, sugar-free, calorie-free b.s. version of favorite treats.  I am guilty of doing this in the past, but no more.  I only have these fabulous butter and sugar laden cookies once a year.  It’s not that serious.  It’s not worth compromising flavor and ingesting ubiquitous fake food chemicals that harm your body in the long run.
3. Don’t go crazy with overindulgence, only to make empty promises to yourself for the new year.  Indulge in little bits and pieces and don’t obsess about it.  Only partake in treats that you truly love, don’t nibble on so-so crap that is just a total waste of calories.  Continue to eat in your normal healthy way in all the days/hours around the actual holidays–Thanksgiving and Xmas, Solstace, or Kwanzaa, but don’t just let it all go all the days between Thanksgiving and New Year.
4. Be low key and don’t turn into one of those annoying diet bitches who feels the need to constantly brag about  the “good, bad, and ugly” of your holiday diet 24/7.  Just eat (or don’t eat) whatever and don’t go around making a big deal about it.  You will be surprised how much stress this will alleviate.  When someone approaches you with some food you don’t want to put into your body, just politely decline and say something like, “but it looks delicious”.  Don’t go into all that “I’m on a diet, trying to lose weight, watching my figure…blablabla…”
5. Do give some thought about what you want to eat, so that you’re not going to the buffet completely blind but try not to be too strict.  Deprivation leads to binging, almost inevitably.
6. Don’t go weighing yourself every single day and obsessing over the numbers.  You are so much more likely to throw in the towel because of the emotional impact of gaining a couple of pounds, which may just because you haven’t eliminated solid waste yet.  Good grief!  Again, keep up with your normal good eating habits through the holidays and if don’t have any normal good eating habits, the holidays are not the best time to start that.  However, the holidays are always a good time to just keep it all in perspective and don’t turn into a complete glutton.

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1 pound Swiss chard, washed and stemmed

1/2 pound spinach, washed and stemmed

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

1 medium onion, chopped

2 large garlic cloves, minced

House Tuscan Seafood Sprinkle to taste

3 large eggs

1/2 cup (2 ounces) grated gruyère cheese

1 cup cooked basmati brown rice

1. Bring a large pot of water to a boil while you clean the chard and spinach. Fill a bowl with ice water. Strip the leaves from the chard stalks but hold onto the stalks. Wash the leaves in several rinses of water. When the water comes to a boil, salt generously and add the chard leaves. Blanch for about two minutes, just until tender. Using a skimmer or slotted spoon, transfer immediately to the ice water. Blanch the spinach for 30 seconds, and transfer to the ice water. Let sit for a few minutes, then drain, squeeze out the water and chop medium-fine.  If this step is too much just use frozen chopped spinach, thawed and drained and either saute the chard with the aromatics or skip it and double the spinach.

2. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Brush a 2-quart baking or gratin dish with olive oil.

3. Trim both ends off the chard stalks, then dice them. Heat 1 tablespoon of the oil in a large, heavy nonstick skillet over medium heat, and add the onion. Cook, stirring, until tender, about five minutes. Add the diced chard stalks and Tuscan Seafood Sprinkle. Cook, stirring often, for about five minutes until the vegetables are tender. Add the garlic and stir for a minute or so until fragrant. Add the chard and spinach. Stir together for 30 seconds to a minute, just to blend the mixture. Season with salt and pepper, and remove from the heat.

4. Beat the eggs in a bowl. Stir in the chard mixture, cheese and rice. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Transfer to the baking dish, and drizzle on the remaining oil.

5. Bake 40 minutes until firm and brown on the top. Remove from the heat, and cool for at least 10 minutes before serving. You can serve this warm, at room temperature or cold.

I’m on a mission to change the world, one lifestyle at a time. If you’ve enjoyed this post, please share it by pasting a link on your Facebook wall, liking it, or emailing it to a friend.  Thanks.

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Friend 2: “Oh yeah? I’m on day 89 of the annual 100-day peanut butter and duct tape dress size 14 to zero cleanse and I’m in a great mood because I’m rid of all those deadly food toxins that had accumulated in my liver! Seriously, I’m not cranky.”

Friend 3:  “Umph, that’s nothing!  I’ve completely switched to the raw vegan organic sticks and igneous ancient European cave stones Hollywood celebrity lifestyle and I’m losing 46lbs every 8 days!”

Friend 4:  “Oh please.  I woke up at 2am and bench pressed my car, did 5,000 sit ups and 18,000 jumping jacks before dawn, all this before running a full marathon. I can eat whatever I want. Remember, muscle weighs more than fat!”

Friend 5 (me): “Whateva man, I guess that means you all won’t be interested in Sunday brunch at my house–spinach frittata, fresh broccoli salad, smoked salmon, berry and dark chocolate fondue, whole grain apple nut muffins and passionfruit mimosas—followed by some serious dance game shenanigans…”

Now I will not go into the issues with friends 1-4, because they are free to do whatever they please and if what they do makes them feel healthy and happy, more power to them!  But I’m tired of seeing the posts of friends 1,2,3,and 4 all over the internet, with all this kind of super-fitness banter that encourages some to engage in insane competition and others to be humiliated into permanent, depressing, lying on the sofa devouring cheez puffs and guzzling soda oblivion.

I’m here to tell you beauties, there is another way!   The secret formula goes like this:

Exercise – look closely at your schedule and get creative with your current movement options and make space for more.  Hate gyms? No problem.  Join a walking club, take rollerblade lessons, challenge your family to some Dance Dance Revolution, plant a garden, take golf lessons, go salsa dancing, play rope in the neighborhood, walk to open air markets, try yoga, or whatever.

Diet – That’s a noun, not a verb.  Make great effort to include as many glorious whole grains and deliciously fresh, colorful fruits and vegetables in your diet as possible every single day.  Seek out new and exciting recipes.  Even if you are not that skilled in the kitchen there is so much to explore, like salads.  I’m not talking about the obligatory goodie-two-shoes salad, I’m talking about sexy, exotic, and unusual combinations you will want to eat.  Decide for yourself how far you go with limiting foods that you know (like the back of your hand) aren’t nutritious.   Don’t lie, don’t apologize, don’t perpetrate a fraud.  Make up your mind and stick to it.

Mindset – This is where the challenge is and where most of us need diligent daily de-programming and support.  It is difficult because you will need to let go of everything that our culture preaches to you about diet and fitness, such as releasing that goal dress size that has been stuck in your head for your entire adult life.  Like putting the “no pain, no gain” fallacy to rest forever.  Or calling a truce in the war you’ve declared on your body.  Also, shifting the focus in every moment away from worry of what you look like to others.  Take pride in your appearance, wear flattering clothes, hair, and makeup if you like.  But once you step out, focus on sensuality–what you see, hear, feel, taste, and smell instead of constantly imagining the horror of protruding this and jiggling that.

Result – This is ongoing.  You will not wake up one day, having reached your “goal” and just go back to the old ways.  Whatever size and weight you end up with wholeheartedly putting efforts into designing your ideal lifestyle is healthy, happy, balanced, beautiful, YOU.

I’m on a mission to change the world for the better, one lifestyle at a time. If you’ve enjoyed this post, please spread the love by sharing on Facebook or Twitter (click an icon below) or emailing it to a friend.  Quick, do it now! Thanks lovely.

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Now a little background about my body if you don’t already know me: I am an apple shape, as a result of genetics.  All the women on the maternal side of my family have some variation of this shape.   We have rounded midsections, broad backs, and heavier on top. If we were to completely let ourselves go we could turn into Jabba the Hutt.  My biggest complaint is that people ask me if I’m pregnant thanks to my disproportionately rotund tummy.   I generally wear size 10 and am average height 5’6″, which makes me slightly overweight but certainly not a plus size.  I suppose my breast size is average and my arms and legs are fairly fit looking.

Where am I going with all this?  Well, some of the “advice” I found online contained chillingly negative messages about my sweet, juicy apple shape. Truth be told, I would have preferred almost any other body type to the apple shape for myself.  Sure, I wish I were an hourglass, and have tried everything, including things I’m not particularly proud of, to change my shape.  Still, even though I didn’t particularly LIKE my shape, I didn’t HATE my whole body, geez!  There is a huge gap here. I generally avoid all of the advice that purports to hide flaws, camouflage, disguise, conceal, or otherwise standardize my shape.  I also skipped sites that assume that women with this shape are all obese and unattractive but I still managed to run across this nonsense:

My best friend loves apples and is really fond of them. But unfortunately due to health issues and her love for food has actually turned her into an apple shaped figure…Please don’t despair if you are shaped like an apple. It does not mean the end of the world, trust me you too can walk through life in style. Simply follow these top fashion tips for apple shaped women and you can easily hide your problematic areas.~random website.

WTH kind of thing is that to say?  Who thinks apples are the end of the world?  The whole world?  Really now? I bet the writer is really talking about herself and her miserably bad body image. What was she trying to accomplish?  Her advice wasn’t even that good.  Other sites advised the juicy apples to dress in monochromatic colors–for what?  Or dilute ourselves in some dark murky colors so as not to draw attention to our jacked up shape–that’s always desirable, right?

I just wanted to look well put together, balanced, and proportioned and be comfortable in some non-fussy clothes that don’t make me feel like a sausage in the microwave about to bust out of its casing when I sit down.  If I hated my figure then I wouldn’t bother to take the time and effort to dress it up nice.  And then I guess it would be the end of the world.

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